Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Branches and Trees
Those are powerful words. I remember watching Madea Goes to Jail shortly after I broke up with my ex. Those words helped to put things into perspective. See I thought the guy I had invested so much time and energy into was a root--someone who would support and nurture our relationship, someone who I could depend on. But when it came time for me to step out on him--when I really needed him--he broke and left me to fall hard. I sustained some massive injuries. I kept begging him to give me what I needed, but it just wasn't in him. He was a branch, only meant to hold for a short time before breaking.
Which brings me to my next point. When I have to face a decision where it's my self- preservation or someone else I have to instinctively pick me. If I don't how will I survive. My ex made a choice. He decided that temporary sexual indulgences were more important than his 'love' for me and his commitment to our relationship.It all boiled down to my staying and allowing myself to be disrespected, hurt, disregarded, and degraded or leaving. He chose computer images of people who could NEVER love him back over a woman who loved him immeasurably. Perhaps one day he will regret that decision. I don't know. I pray for him everyday. My regret is that I wish I had seen it coming.
Like Madea says, if someone is doing something that hurts you, and you confront them and tell them that what they are doing causes pain and they still continue to do it, that person DOES NOT really care for you. I don't care what they say. Actions speak volumes about a person. But if that person even tries to change a little don't throw them away. I would never toss anyone aside, but my ex boyfriend decided that he was not going to change, and he did not care at all how much his actions hurt me. How can you love a narcissist (someone who can only see their own perspective)? How can you commit to someone who only care about what they can get out of a situation, even if you suffer because of their self-centeredness? Doing so does not show love for that person, but hatred for self.
Every day is an attempt to move past the hurt and betrayal and to see the beauty in each day God has given me. I strive to have a close relationship with God. I work towards excellence in all that I do. Yet I am still haunted by the termination of that relationship. I am still suffering from the effects of confusing a branch with a root. But that's life. I don't have all the answers. But I am growing and learning. That's why I wanted to share this simple blog with you. I implore all of you to evaluate your relationships according to Madea's wisdom. Sometimes, even though it may break your heart, you have to let people go. Just let them go.