“Here I am now looking at 30 and I got so much to say...
I’ve reached a fork in the road of my life
where aint nothing gonna happen unless I decide
And I choose to be the best that I can be
I choose to be authentic in everything I do
I choose! –India Arie
I approach each birthday with fear and trembling. I don’t
like getting older. I have even joked that birthdays are morbid because they
document how close you are to dying. It also seems that as soon as I have
mastered one age---figured out what is age-appropriate, learned the lessons of
that year, and managed to thrive—then, in comes a new year with new challenges
and new expectations. This year I am facing a new decade!!!!!!! I’ve been in my
twenties for 10 years. I got used to being in my 20’s. I was in denial that I
would one day NOT be in my 20’s. I know many people who can relate.
I have some thoughts on coping with a new year or new
decade:
1) Stop Counting. Last birthday I ran into a young lady when
I was out shopping. During our
conversation, I asked her how old she was. She didn’t know…at least not
immediately. She said, "I’m either 32 or 33 or maybe even younger." I looked at
her like she had gone mad. I watched amazed as she tried to calculate her age
from her birth year—but she could not readily remember the year she was born. Then she said that she stopped counting her
age. She just lived her life daily as best she could and never worried about
how old or young she was. She found that this philosophy made her a much
happier person. Maybe all the hoopla the
western world makes over birthdays is actually damaging. Maybe even as damaging
as our obsession with youth.
2) You are really only as old as you feel. Cliché. I know. I
know, but there is so much truth to the saying. I still feel 25. In fact, when
someone ask me my age I say “25” and use finger quotes. Then I smile and change
the subject. I still feel young. I still
have plenty of energy. And I have made the decision to become better as life
goes on, instead of bitter.
3) Do something new. Gain new insights, new experiences.
When I turned 26 I went on my first Caribbean cruise. Now cruising is my
obsession. Try to find something new. A new food—I’m a fastidious eater but I
try to introduce myself to a new food as often as I can. A new hairstyle—I got
Havana twist this year and (gasp) I learned to wear make up. A new goal--I used
to be a lot more uptight, but I have decided to let a lot of things roll off my
back. “My past don’t dictate who I am. I choose.”
4) Age aint nothing but a number—albeit a somewhat important
number. When I am at work, I strive to
act my age. Now that I work with young children, I find that accessing my inner
child makes for a better day. In my private life I act whatever age I feel
like. After I type this I’m plugging up my Nintendo and playing an old school video
game. Yesterday I ate cotton candy and stayed up past midnight. I sometimes
skip when I am excited, and it is not beyond me to do a happy dance when I am
delighted with something. Some people think I’m much younger than what I am.
Could it be that what is mistaken for immaturity is actually exuberance! When
people look at me they often guess that I’m in my early to mid 20’s, but after
we have conversed and they get a hint of my wisdom and ingrained-in-me-to-the-core
common sense they guess my age rather easily. We are all complex people. We have
many layers and sides to us…I will not let the coming year define who I am!
5) Do not lose your sense of humor. Humor is a powerful
coping mechanism. The difference between someone who has a break down from the trials
and pure hell that can be life, and the person who thrives is often a heck of a
since of humor. Find the irony in maddening situations. Take yourself out of
the situation. What would you say if you were a casual observer and the
situation were happening to someone else?
6) Do not take yourself too seriously. When I was 23 I took
myself way too seriously. I felt my every opinion needed to be heard and heard
loudly! As a result I often alienated people. My world is a mad one. Between having
a crazy supervisor, a demanding job, the government breathing down my neck
because of my student loans, and a seemingly endless amount of plumbing
problems, I could drive myself crazy. Now I laugh. I pay my student loans and
joke that I “work for the government.” When the garbage disposal went up this
week, I rolled my eyes and then thought of all the crap I poured down there
over the years. “I’m surprised it made it this long,” I concluded nonchalantly.
My opinions are just as valid now as they were when I was 23, but I do not need
to “impale” people with them. I can laugh at my mistakes more easily. I know
myself a lot better. I feel increasingly more comfortable with who I am as a
person.
7) Give someone else a “birthday gift.” When we say birthday
gift we often think of what someone will purchase for us, but what if we
flipped the script! What if we decided to be the giver on our birthday instead
of the recipient? Find something small to do for someone else on your birthday.
You’ll feel better. I guarantee it.
Finally, what do I want for my birthday?
If you want to give me a birthday present here are three
things you can do for me.
If you have other
suggestions on coping with getting older, please leave them in the comment section
below.
Happy New Year everybody!
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| Collage of my new look for my new year |
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